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The Earnest Committee Chair isn’t a bore. She’s a performance artist. The straight face during the budget review? That’s the setup. The wild, unhinged joy of rejecting a pergola application? That’s the punchline.

Arvind didn’t flinch. He simply turned the iPad around. On the spreadsheet, columns read: Emotional Arc (1-10), Product Placement Subtlety, Likelihood of Resale Code Violation (Re: Pool Fencing).

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